Tag Archives: funny

My Penny Lotto Revenge

I was thinking if I win the Mega Millions lottery tonight at $640mil what I would do to piss people off (just for fun). My first thought is to give my enemies $100k each in pennies. So I did the math:

A penny weighs 2.5 grams

100 pennies in a dollar

So in $100k of pennies there is 25,000,000 grams = 55,115.5655 pounds

Which is 27.5577827 short tons!

The average armored truck can carry 1.25 tons. So it would take 22 armored trucks to deliver $100k in pennies!

The Salesman’s Creed

This is my phone. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My phone is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My phone, without me, is useless. Without my phone, I am useless. I must txt and email with my phone true. I must call faster than my competitor who is trying to out sell me. I must call him before he calls me. I will….

My phone and myself know that what counts in this war is not the calls made, the buzz on Twitter, nor the calls we make. We know that it is the sells that count. We will SELL…

My phone is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its battery life and its dead zones. I will keep my phone clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before God I swear this creed. My phone and myself are the defenders of my company. We are the masters of our competition. We are the saviours of my life. So be it, until victory is my company’s and there is no competition, but Revenue.